


Broken Together

by rainsoakedhello



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Harry is a bit of a mess, M/M, Okay a lot of a mess, Short, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainsoakedhello/pseuds/rainsoakedhello
Summary: Forty-two minutes.Two-thousand five hundred and twenty seconds.Well, two-thousand five hundred and eighty seconds now. The little hand of the large ballroom clock had moved one more mark forward, mocking me; moving one more mark forward while I stay still -- stay stuck.





	Broken Together

**Author's Note:**

> I should be sleeping and if not sleeping, I should be working on my other fic that I haven't updated in months. However, writer's block is a selfish bitch that currently owns me.
> 
> Rated T for two swear words (which includes my note above)...just to be overly cautious.
> 
> Hopefully this mess makes sense. I know the structure/pace is disjointed, but that wasn't actually due to sleep deprivation and instead was fully intentional in this case.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing except the ramblings of my overtired mind.

Forty-two minutes.

Two-thousand five hundred and twenty seconds. 

Well, two-thousand five hundred and eighty seconds now. The little hand of the large ballroom clock had moved one more mark forward, mocking me; moving one more mark forward while I stay still -- stay stuck.

Fifty-two steps. 

Fifty-two steps to my left is the exit; the exit I so desperately want to escape out of. 

To escape from the one-hundred and three faces -- two-hundred and six eyes -- eyes all watching me, waiting for me to do...something...anything...I’m not sure anymore.

They will have to keep waiting. Waiting for another forty-four minutes now...another two-thousand six-hundred and forty seconds.

Waiting because I am broken. I’ve had enough time to myself to accept this fact. 

The problem is, no one else has. 

I’m Harry Potter. 

Savior of the Wizarding World. 

The fucking Golden Boy. 

I can’t be broken, not in their eyes.

All two-hundred and six.

_These aren't my people  
These aren't my friends  
She grabbed my face and that's when she said_

Blond.

Well, not blond. Blond is too...too _wrong_ of a descriptor. 

Platinum? No, not platinum.

Honey? No, that’s not right either.

Cornsilk? Sure, let’s go with that. It sounds delicate and soft. Soft like the hair I’m staring at.

I focus on things now, after the war. 

Numbers. 

Colors. 

Things that lend to change, like when added together, but at the root will always stay the same. 

One plus one is two, but one is still always one at its core. 

Yellow and blue mixed together becomes green, but yellow will always be yellow on its own.

Well, until yellow is lemon yellow or sunflower yellow. But then again, lemon yellow and robin's egg blue mixed together will still always be some sort of green and lemon yellow is still lemon yellow in the end.

Anyway, I focus on steady things. 

Constant things.

_I like that you're broken  
Broken like me  
Maybe that makes me a fool_

Malfoy.

Malfoy has always been a constant. He has grown...aged...matured, as all people do. He has changed; had to change. But he is still Malfoy. 

A constant.

My constant.

And now Malfoy is thirty-nine steps to my right. One face out of the sea of one-hundred and two others.

His two grey eyes...no, grey isn’t right. 

Silver? No, not quite.

Mercury? Yes, mercury sounds right.

Anyway, his two mercury eyes are watching me. 

This is a constant. This is normal. This is familiar.

And he looks as out of place as I feel.

This is new. 

This isn’t part of his constant. He always fit. 

Right side. 

Wrong side. 

It didn’t matter. He always fit. That was the constant.

But this is new.

He looks as broken as me.

_I like that you're lonely  
Lonely like me  
I could be lonely with you_

Thirty-nine steps.

Thirty-nine steps and I’m next to Malfoy. I’m not certain what possessed me to take those thirty-nine steps.

Maybe it was the one-hundred and two other souls in this room with their two-hundred and four eyes watching...expecting...anticipating...somehow overlooking the broken man that I am.

Or maybe it was the one face -- two mercury eyes -- and that out-of-place look that moved my feet. 

Yes, maybe that. 

Probably that.

Twelve seconds. 

Twelve seconds I’m holding my breath watching Malfoy; watching the man watch me watch him.

Another fourteen seconds tick by, time passing around us...moving forward...leaving us broken and behind.

My right hand reaches out and now it is our two hands together. 

Ten fingers.

Two bodies.

One tight grasp that says, ‘maybe we can be broken together’.

_There's something tragic, but almost pure_  
_Think I could love you, but I'm not sure_  
_There's something wholesome, there's something sweet_  
_Tucked in your eyes that I'd love to meet_

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are from lovelytheband's song Broken (thanks Pandora!)


End file.
